I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
