i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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