So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
