He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
