No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize