I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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