The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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