Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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