I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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