I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Houston, we have a blender
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
