Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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