The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
