I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
