Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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