A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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