College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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