Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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