$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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