I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
