he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
