we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
