So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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