You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
