Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
