if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am available for nakedness
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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