thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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