just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize