my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
