I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
