saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
