you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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