hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A bitchslap is in order.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
