Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
