I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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