It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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