break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
