What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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