so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
