So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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