After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
