I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
