At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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