Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
