Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
