Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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