i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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