There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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