all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
