first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
