Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
