Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
