Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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