Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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