I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
